Blogs and Information

About me and the purpose of this website ~ Long read so grab a coffee and enjoy the ride.

Moving to New Zealand wasn’t a decision that was made lightly. My husband and I had big dreams for our daughter and for ourselves. We wanted to experience more from life, and we needed to move in order to live out those dreams. Our dreams weren’t radical like owning posh cars and living in mansions they were simple dreams like taking the kids to a park, to drive around at night and to do the simple things that you tend to not realise you can do so freely in some countries.

The move came about pretty quickly and due to my husband having a skill that is needed in New Zealand he was pretty much employed after one Skype interview. We gathered all our documents and the journey of immigrating to New Zealand began.

I won’t lie to you and say it was all honey and roses because it wasn’t. It was stressful and many tears of frustration on my part were cried. I was scared and now pregnant with my son which only amplified my fears. I knew why I wanted to move; I had these dreams but dammit now these dreams felt silly and insignificant and everything I had ever known and grown to love seemed like a magnet pulling me deeper into the heart of South Africa and I wasn’t sure anymore and I didn’t know what to do.

I had to do some serious soul searching and after many sleepless nights of crying I realised that this was it and that I only had one life and that this life was going to be a good life, a life I could be proud of !!

We didn’t use an immigration advisor, not because we had any negative notions towards them, simply because we felt that we were able to do this on our own. It’s not a bed of roses and you need patience and determination and time; you need a lot of time!

I decided, like many, that Hubby was to go over first and settle in and My daughter and I (heavily pregnant) would follow. I needed to say my goodbyes as well and we all know that woman goodbyes are not like men goodbyes …. they are emotional and drawn out and you pretty much need a day to recover from the heart ache as you methodically say goodbye to each person ticking off the long list of people you know you may never see again. It was hard and something I wouldn’t be able to do again in a hurry.

Watching my husband say goodbye to his family was one of the hardest things I’ve had to be a part of. I knew in a months’ time it would be me standing there crumbling with emotion and having to act brave for my daughter and for me.

Not having hubby around wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I was blessed that I was able to live with my mother in law and that month is a month I will always hold close to my heart. You don’t realise how loved you are until you are living with someone and you get to feel their love and see it daily.

My turn at the airport was absolutely heart breaking, my mother and my siblings were devastated. I stood there with waves of guilt crashing over me in-between sobs and short bursts of “ I love you forever “ I knew they were proud of me and I knew they wished me the best in life but in that moment all I felt was guilt ! I was solely responsible for ripping my family apart, I was solely responsible for all the milestone’s my family and my husband’s family would never get to see. In that moment it was all on me and let me tell you I wore that badge for way longer than I should have.

The actual flight was awful. I was heavily pregnant and being the first time, I had ever seen an aeroplane up close let alone actually being in one, I was terrified. I couldn’t have a glass of wine; I couldn’t take anything to help me sleep I was basically a woman running off fear of the unknown and bladdy cold water.

Arriving in New Zealand in the middle of the night didn’t do it justice, I watched the streetlights go by and wondered if I had made the right choice.

We arrived at our home and I was flabbergasted and terribly confused by the way the home was set up, where on earth was the actual fence? And why didn’t the front door have a security gate???? Honestly my reaction was extremely cliché so you can imagine all the silly questions I was sprouting off at midnight.

This was it … This was the beginning of my dream, the beginning of my “new life, my better life “

Queue screeching halt ….

The thing that most people don’t realise is that regardless of where you go in the world you remain the person you are. You will still think the same and still have the same fears. I’m not sure why I thought that once I arrived in New Zealand I would automatically think like a New Zealander. I thought that I would just understand what people were saying. I mean we are all speaking English so how hard could it be??? Well I would be exaggerating if I said I couldn’t understand them hahaha. Truth is yes, they all speak English but the phrases didn’t make sense to me and the names for things were confusing. And that is when my Facebook group South Africans Living/wanting to live in New Zealand was born. I was sad and disheartened and I needed an outlet.

I am going to be brutally honest when I talk about my first 3 years, BUT I need you to read to the end because there truly is a silver lining around every cloud.

I hated New Zealand for such a long time that hate and anger became the new norm for me, I had replaced fear of safety with fear of freedom. It was a ridiculous thing to feel overwhelmed by no security gates, no burglar bars and no fence. I felt exposed and vulnerable, I knew I was being irrational, and I knew that I was overthinking things. I had literally flown all this way only to lock myself up in my home. I was sad and I was missing home, I longed for the African sun to wash over me turning me a nice golden brown. I just wanted to go home!!!!

In those lonely years I had to do a lot of soul searching, I had to make a change because I knew I was going to be my own undoing. Once I changed MY attitude my life changed forever. It wasn’t easy but I just had to put myself out there, I started talking to moms at my sons Kindergarten and made a lifelong friend, a woman who taught me the “kiwi” way. I will always be truly grateful that Helen and I crossed paths. I needed an angel and one was sent!

If you put yourself out there you will be amazed at who you will meet and what a profound influence they will have in your life.

This website has been created to make things easier for all of you wanting to call New Zealand your home. There was so much I wasn’t aware of when I moved here, so much that could have made my life so much easier, things to do. Places to go.

I’ll go over different phrases, and what some things are called. Any topic you would like discussed in length feel free to email and we can add those in the Community based information section.

Happy browsing.

block 4 beach